Before you can add value to someone else's life, you first need to add it to your own. Taking the time to invest in your own personal growth is one of the most important things you can do and this will have a direct impact on how you treat others, especially women. Being a man in this day and age can be difficult as there are so many mixed messages on what actually constitutes being a man.
A mindset that has served me well is one of 'constant evolution' and always wanting to learn and improve. Fear of failure or rejection will stunt your growth so it's important to tackle difficult issues head-on and not wish them away.
How do I improve my sexual performance?
Sexual performance is something that most of us pride ourselves on but like everything, there is always room for improvement. Taking the time to learn how to best please a woman to the point where your connection is so strong that you can literally make her orgasm in public from the slightest touch is quite an experience.
But like most things, this requires time and effort to learn. Our perception of sexuality is heavily skewed by social conditioning so if we want to see beyond it, we have to take it upon ourselves to learn what our minds and bodies are truly capable of.
If a wet dream that results in an ejaculation is controlled by the mind, simple logic will tell us that sex is in fact very much a mental affair but this is seldom taught in the mainstream. We see porno stars pounding away like Spartan warriors until they erupt and we epitomise this as the gold standard. In some circumstances that may be the case, but in others, it's definitely not.
I believe that if you really want to explore your true sexual potential, taking the time to learn how to give and receive pleasure is the best way to do so. I have been fortunate enough to explore Tantra, BDSM and my sexuality as a whole. This has really helped me to understand the psychology of pleasure and how to nurture it.
A few months back I wrote a piece on my blog called 'The Seven Veils' which provides a sensual framework for exploring a partner in ways that would literally drive them crazy with delight. It's super intense and it's all based around the nurturing of arousal through touch and body aching anticipation. You can read more about it here.
You can also read about an experience I had with a woman who endured an eye-rolling orgasm in the middle of a packed out city bar whilst perched on my lap - in full view of onlookers here.
Is physical appearance important?
Although we come in all shapes and sizes looking after yourself and being physically fit is vitally important. If you live on an unhealthy diet with little exercise, your body may not be able to keep up when things get demanding. Working out regularly makes a huge difference, even if it's just stretching and some basic callisthenics. I work out at home and do Qigong which has really helped to condition my body and improve my overall health.
What would you say is the most important skill for success as a male escort?
Communication - Without a doubt, the ability to articulate yourself and communicate effectively is one of the most valuable skills when it comes to escorting - or any service related profession for that matter.
One of the main frustrations I hear women voice is a lack of communication from the guys they date. So when it comes to communicating with clients, this is another area that deserves an investment of time. Not knowing how to read certain situations as they arise can make or break a relationship with a client that you may have worked hard to get. On the other hand, if you're able to deal with situations in the correct manner you will have gained her respect - which allows her to open up and let go.
Also, a large majority of my bookings come from clients who have read my blog and decided to contact me. And because of my inquisitive nature, I have always been one to ask questions. Asking the right questions and actively listening to the response provides insight that will better enable you to please your client, especially when being intimate.
Here's a good video on the importance of active listening.
How do you handle conflict when things go wrong?
I stay cool, remain objective and do not let my emotions do the thinking. I've had some difficult situations with clients where things haven't gone according to plan but I always try to stay focused on resolving the issue so both parties are content. I don't brush things under the carpet or pretend they never happened as women are naturally wired to pick up on this and they will often call you out for being a pussy. Honesty is the best policy and sometimes it is necessary to walk away if things can't be resolved but I am yet to come across a situation like this.
Also, when dealing with issues that may arise during an evening or perhaps an overnight booking, they can usually be resolved with a conversation but if you spend 3 to 4 weeks around the clock with a client the nature of your interactions will inevitably expand in scope. This is where real emotions can fly and you both get to see different sides of each other which can be beautiful and problematic at the same time. Again, the best advice I can give is, to be honest, and keep your clients best interest at heart. Just because she might take you away on a fancy holiday, doesn't mean it's time to put your feet up. You are there to please, but at the same time have fun and make the most of it.
What is 'The Grey'?
'The Grey' is the area that a client relationship can evolve to when you have shared special moments together and there are genuine emotions on both sides. I personally enjoy this space a lot but it's not without its perils. It's not uncommon for a client to become so emotionally involved that the transactional element of the relationship becomes awkward but this can be managed with experience. The benefits of 'The Grey' area is that the connection can be super intense and I've had some of the best experiences of my adult life whilst exploring this space. Approach 'The Grey' with caution as experience is required.
Personal development, on the whole, is a never-ending road where the focus should be on embracing the now. Many of us often feel that when we achieve a certain goal or reach a certain point, everything will be better but this is seldom the case. Learning to live and appreciate what we have now is a gift that offers peace of mind and contentment whilst still remaining committed to constant evolution.
A good book to read on this subject is called 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle - it's a book I often refer to. And if you're short on time, check out Amazon's audiobook service - Audible, it's an absolute gem.
A link to my reading list can be found here.