• Madison James

Are You Good Looking Enough To Become An Escort?

Updated: Feb 28, 2019

"Am I good looking enough to be an escort?" This is a question that I hear quite often from the guys who I offer consultations to and it always strikes me as a little odd. I mean, I'm not the arbiter of male attractiveness and sex appeal and I certainly can't speak for millions of women around the world. However, I do understand why some guys may ask themselves the question as we all have insecurities. But if this is an area where you're unsure, perhaps you should take some time to explore the bigger issue at play.

What Do I Mean By This?

I'm referring to the much broader subject of attraction on the whole and how it actually works which is the real question that needs to be addressed - we'll explore this in more detail.

What Causes Attraction?

Having been fascinated by the nature of attraction for many years I have spent a lot of time reading and studying the subject. I don't profess to be an expert on evolutionary psychology and mating intelligence but I do have some observations regarding what causes attraction between two people.

I believe that attraction is a hardwired reaction to a set of physical and behavioural traits that we are programmed to respond to. Some of these traits are partly inherent like height, skin tone, hair colour, bone structure and facial features. I say 'partly' because our lifestyle can have a huge impact on our physical makeup.

Similarly, certain behavioural traits that develop subconsciously due to our upbringing and environment will also have an impact on us. Some of these characteristics will increase or decrease attractiveness with the opposite sex. Humour, intelligence, confidence, kindness, honesty and integrity are examples of characteristics that are considered pretty much universally attractive and they can all be learnt or improved upon. In the same vein, if you have misogynistic douchebag tendencies, you'd do well to try and iron them out as they probably won't help your endeavours within this industry.

Can We Make Someone Feel Attraction For Us?

Yes and no. There are some people who in a million years will just never be attracted to each other no matter what the situation. On the other hand, there are many instances where it can be triggered if the nature of attraction is understood, thus giving one the ability to make themselves more attractive in the eyes of another.

If you see guys working out at the gym, fighting for that promotion at work or taking the time to educate themselves, these are all examples of how one can make themselves more attractive to a certain type of female. The real effect takes place when we are conscious of what we're doing, why we're doing it and what type of women you're likely to attract.

The point is that your level of attractiveness or ability to do this type of work is largely down to you and the decisions you make about your life. There are certain women who will naturally be attracted to certain traits both learnt and inherent. Knowing who you're looking to attract should pretty much answer the title of this post but as usual, we'll delve a little deeper

Are Men And Women Attracted To The Same Thing?

I think it's fair to say that we are all attracted to certain traits that we deem desirable but men and women do not typically share the same value system, especially from an evolutionary point of view.

We've come a long way over the last 2 million years but how much of our primal desires and instincts have been completely rewired? Women are still largely attracted to powerful dominant men who can provide and protect them and their young and men are still attracted to women who can produce beautiful healthy offspring.

The method in which these goals are achieved may have changed but Maslow's Hierarchy of needs is still as relevant today as it ever was. In this day an age you can hunt much more effectively with a good education, a well-paying job and a solid financial portfolio than you can with a spear and a net. We have evolved but clearly, many of our inherent traits and desires still remain the same.

Having said that, in the complex and ever-changing world that we inhabit, things are not as black and white as there once were. Taking the time to discover what drives an individual, as opposed to making assumptions based on gender, race, religion, class or any other differentiating factor is essential.

I think the point is that anyone can choose this line of work as physical appearance is only one aspect of attraction and it is still completely subjective. We have the ability to change, develop and evolve in any way we choose and there will always be women out there who are attracted to that.

Whether your approach is conducive with providing you with the lifestyle and income you desire is another question entirely. This requires a good understanding of the type of client you're looking to attract and whether you possess the right traits to succeed in that market.

Constant evolution has been a strong belief of mine for many years but this is not so I can be more attractive to the opposite sex, this is to satisfy my own personal ambition. The irony is that the more I focus on my own personal development, the more attractive I become to others. Ultimately, the best we can do is be honest with ourselves and ensure that whatever endeavours we invest in are aligned with our goals and aspirations.

We'll talk again soon.

Your friend,


Recommended Reading:

Sex at Dawn by Dr Christopher Ryan (pdf)

The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller (pdf)

Mating Intelligence Unleashed [Audible]

▪️ Do you disagree with any of the points I’ve made above?

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#personaldevelopment #attraction

© 2019 Madison James Consulting