How To Tell Your GF You Sleep With Other Women For Money
Without a doubt, one of the most common questions I receive from guys in the industry is how do they tell their significant other what they do for a living. I'm talking about smart, successful men who have their s**t together and aren't afraid to speak their mind.
But when it comes to telling their partner what they do for a living, I've seen many literally run a mile. This doesn't apply to everyone of course but I get enough emails from guys asking how best to handle this situation to know that it's an issue many struggle to deal with. But, it needn't be because like most things in life, being honest and direct is always better than hiding and covering things up.
Now before I get into it, I would be remiss if I didn't mention a few caveats to consider before laying all your cards on the table. The advice I give is based on the assumption that you have a relatively healthy relationship with your partner and you're able to discuss most things in a mature and respectful manner.
I would say this is the minimum prerequisite for taking on board the advice that I'm about to give. And if that isn't the case, you may have more fundamental issues in your relationship to deal with before throwing a huge curveball like this one.
The first thing I say is, to be honest. I meet so many guys who have to hide what they do from family and friends that the very thought of telling their partner seems absolutely crazy. However, managing all the lies and secrecy can take its toll and I've seen many escorts come undone after years of deceitful behaviour that usually always catches up with them.
As with most things, it's not always as simple as saying 'tell the truth'. There needs to be an understanding of the mindset required to take this path. Being honest is not a magic pill and it requires a willingness to accept the outcome of the situation. This means letting go of a need to control the narrative and afford others the opportunity to make informed decisions about the things that impact their lives.
This will inevitably result in some people deciding that your lifestyle is not compatible with their own but as Hyman Roth told Michael in The God Father Pt.2, "this... is the business we've chosen!". In other words, we have to accept the pros and cons of working in this industry and take responsibility for our actions.
There are many who may disagree and they're entitled to do so but I speak as a man who has made my fair share of mistakes along the way and has realised that having integrity and speaking the truth is the best way to achieve happiness.
Nothing unsettles the mind like unresolved issues, especially when you know you're being kept in the dark. Relationships can be difficult at the best of times but being with a man who sleeps with other women on a regular basis can be a recipe for disaster. The only way to manage this longterm without the risk of hurting someone who you may care about is to communicate with them and be open about what you do from the start.
If you've been in a long-term relationship and you decide to get into this industry and not discuss it with your partner, it probably won't end well for either party. The advice I always give is to have an open and honest conversation BEFORE you decide to make life-changing decisions that will affect someone else. Granted, this may be easier said than done because your partner may fly off the handle and you could have just opened up a can of worms unnecessarily.
But consider this, if escorting is a career path and lifestyle that you are seriously considering and it means that much to you, you're going to have to make some decisions about what you are prepared to sacrifice in order to obtain it. The reality is that you're very unlikely to be able to have your cake and eat it unless you are upfront and honest from day one and prepared to accept that the other person may choose to walk away.
Having the discipline to do this takes a lot of guts and it's often an acquired mindset because hiding the truth in difficult situations can seem like an easy way out but long term, it very rarely is. There's also a matter of discretion and consideration for your partner so leaving your 3 month supply of extra safe Durex on full display in the bathroom probably won't go down too well.
I think a balance of keeping your work life separate but also being honest about what you do in general will help to maintain a healthy balance between you. Most partners won't want all the intricate details (although some may actually get a kick out of it!) but they will want to feel special and this means making the effort on a regular basis to show them how you feel.
Also, if they know that they can come to you with an issue and have an open and mature conversation in a productive manner, and receive truthful answers this will remove a lot of anxiety that they may have.
However you look at it, dating someone who gets paid to provide services of an intimate nature is not 'normal' to most people so an active effort should be made to nurture your relationship if you intend to keep your partner happy.
There is also the question of whether having a full on relationship with someone whilst working in this industry is even a good idea. That's another subject entirely and one that I'll likely cover in the future but it will ultimately come down to personal choice.
Whatever we decide to do, it should always be well considered and never taken lightly with the assumption that we can just wing it and deal with issues as they arise.
I've seen many guys end up in difficult situations that could have been avoided if they were honest from the start but the desire to have our cake and eat it can be overwhelming, especially when logic and pragmatism gives way to emotion.
The ability to speak the truth and accept the outcome is the hallmark of a man with integrity and is a key ingredient in creating the lifestyle that you want to live. This is not about being a better well-adjusted escort, this is about being the best version of ourselves as men.
Just be honest with yourself and try to figure out why you have chosen this line of work in the first place. Is it because you like female attention and the idea of being paid to date women appeals to you? Or perhaps you enjoy pleasing women and see it as a genuine career path? Or maybe it's just a good way to earn money?
It's not for me to judge but the answer to the question will more than likely determine whether it's worth the risk of ruining your relationship or potentially breaking up a family.
As much as I love what I do, I'm keenly aware that potential partners may not share the same enthusiasm for my line of work - and this is something that I have to accept. Ultimately, we all want the freedom to choose what's right for us, so it's only fair that we don't deny others the same opportunity.
We'll talk again soon.
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