What Is A 'Sexual Development Companion'?
What exactly is a 'Sexual Development Companion'? Is this a fancy title that I invented to obscure the true nature of prostitution? Well, let's find out. First, we'll look at some of the main disciplines within the 'sex industry' and work backwards from there.
Prostitute: An individual who engages in sexual activity for payment.
Escort: A companion who is paid for their time, which can include sex but not always.
Sexological Bodyworker: A sex educator who helps clients learn to about their bodies, sex and sexuality, or work through sexual issues or concerns. Can include masturbation coaching and sensual and erotic massage.
Tantric Masseuse: A Tantric Masseuse supports their clients in exploring their sexuality based on the spiritual teachings of Tantra. This can include meditation, physical exercises, erotic massage, masturbation and intercourse.
There are many different variations of sex workers that I could include but I think this covers the main groups. In reality, I could probably subscribe to all of the above but in truth, none of these encapsulate what I do. I feel the most accurate description is 'Sexual Development Companion' because this encompasses elements of all of the above but there is much more.
One element, in particular, is the nature of the relationships that I tend to form with my clients which is very unique. I'm often compared to a personal trainer, therapist (apparently I'm a good listener), and sometimes a naughty secret.
A Personal Trainer (with benefits)?
The personal trainer is an interesting analogy and here's why; Imagine you're having a work out in the gym and you ask someone to 'spot you' (assist you in lifting weights for example). For that duration, your spotter will help and support you reach your objective - I'd compare this to the service of an escort.
A personal trainer, on the other hand, will not only spot you, but they will work with you over a certain period of time in order to achieve your objective. Unlike a spotter, there is a detailed agreement in place, commitment and a certain level of responsibility on both sides for the duration of their time spent together.
I would say this analogy describes my view on the work that I do pretty well although there is obviously a lot more to it than that.
I want to expand on the 'commitment' element that I mentioned. By commitment, I'm referring to a consistent effort in supporting my client experience the type of sexual pleasure they are looking for. This usually takes some time and is done over a number of encounters. During this time there can be fairly regular communication in order to see how my client is doing.
Some clients may need help addressing certain triggers, blockages and trauma that prevent them from experiencing true sexual satisfaction. Other clients may just want to feel alive again after having been in a long term relationship. Some may want me to accompany them as a partner to attend training courses and workshops - no two clients are the same.
Communication via text, email and telephone can be regular or infrequent depending on the nature of the relationship. We may have wild passionate sex or slow sensual penetration with massage and meditation and everything in between. The one commonality is that they're all looking to explore their sexuality in a meaningful way with someone who doesn't come with the pot-luck aspect of a one-night stand or the complications of an affair.
As a 'Sexual Development Companion' or 'Sex Coach' if you will, I serve a very particular role in the lives of my clients and it's a service like no other. What I offer is very niche and tailored to a particular type of woman. There is genuine affection on both sides but we understand the context and are usually able to deal with the duality of intense sexual intimacy coupled with the financial aspect of our relationship very well.
Is It Real?
In a post that I wrote back in March of this year titled "Illogical Assumptions About Paying For Sex" there was a section where I answered the question of whether you can pay someone for sex and feel genuine emotion for them which I think is worth referencing again because it touches on an interesting point:
"I'm not suggesting that I fulfil the role of a boyfriend because it's a very different dynamic. However, if I spend a significant amount of time with a woman in some of the most intimate settings, it's hard not to develop genuine feelings.
Many sex workers turn off their emotions in order to protect their feelings but due to the nature of the experience that I provide, this wouldn't work for me.
In fact, I feel it would be counter-productive because a lot of what I do requires trust and a genuine connection.
I'm not saying it's always easy to maintain the perfect balance of emotion and professionalism but navigating this is often where a lot of the magic takes place."
Be it professional or personal, I have a natural desire to nurture a woman's sexuality because it genuinely turns me on - it's not altruistic. That's why I refer to myself as a 'Sexual Development Companion' as opposed to an 'Escort' or anything else, and the fact that I get paid for it is an added bonus.
If you want to read more on this subject, have a read of a client interview where we share some revealing insights in to our time spent together - "Candid Client Interview: A Very Unconventional Relationship."
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